Stubby’s Official Council Report #21539

Filed Under: Suspicious Behaviour, Mild Property Damage, and Excellent Snack Acquisition

CONFIDENTIAL
CHARLOTTEVILLE COUNCIL RECORDS – CANINE DIVISION
Filed by: S.T.U.B.B.Y. (Strategic Tunnelling Unit, Biscuit-Based Yapper)

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Subject: Bellamy, Marlowe. Human. Medium height. Jam enthusiast. Suspected of Conspiracy (Mild to Severe).

Observed Activities:

• 06:45 – Attempted toast. Failed. Smelled like treason.
• 08:12 – Chased yours truly across Bramblewick with a whisk. Claimed it was an accident.
• 10:37 – Located suspicious cube near exploded sponge cake. Touched it. Obviously.
• 11:00 – Allegedly “solving a mystery.” Actually poked wires with a spoon.
• 14:55 – Called me a “furry liability.” Disrespect noted.

Snack Inventory:

• 3 biscuits (cheese flavour)
• 1 pilfered sausage roll (still warm)
• ½ packet of suspicious jam tarts
  (CONFISCATED for investigation. By me.)

Council Recommendation:
I got this, no worries.
Also, suggest increasing snack budget. For morale. And chewing purposes.
Also also: request tummy rub.
Urgent.